Canadians Know How to Party
J.Brunhoff | August 21, 2008
When people think of partying they probably think of the epic hollywood parties of California or the Hipster parties of NYC, but Waterloo Canada seems to be trying to put itself on the party map. On a regular Wednesday night a fun loving chap in Waterloo is taking the term party to a whole new level.
For even the hardest partyers among us this party would appear to be in full swing, but for Captain Canada he is not content to let this night end like every other Wednesday binge. He starts the truck, butt naked, and with crack smoke pouring from his nostrils he mashes the throttle. As he reaches warp speed, blowing stop lights, and swerving from lane to lane he commands his escort to start masturbating. This party is officially at 11, spearheaded by a drunk, cracked out, naked, nascar imitating, hillybilly with a raging boner. Basically he is the greatest threat to motorists in the history of paved roads.
To no one’s surprise within minutes Captain Canada blows through the apex of a crucial left hand turn and drives over a median coming to rest with the DUI mobile sodomizing some poor parked Honda accord.

Our naked hero flees on foot with little regard for the well being of his trusty masturbatory sidekick. As he runs into the wood several on lookers note his route and provide it to the police who are in hot pursuit. James is found only a few hundred feet into the woods in what his small tortured brain figured was a perfect hiding spot.
Some may say lock this guy up for being a public menace, I say get a marketing team behind him and you could have the biggest name in Whiskey since Johnnie Walker.
Read the slightly less sensational account HERE


















Two words. Fuckin' EH!
DB | August 22, 2008Two words.
Fuckin’ EH!
This sounds like the best episode of cops! It could
j.doom | August 22, 2008This sounds like the best episode of cops! It could only get better if he called someone and told them he was going to fly a quarter of a million dollar space ship to Sicily.
It was a new truck, not mine, a girls that
JAMES | January 14, 2010It was a new truck, not mine, a girls that I had waiting back in the motel, didn’t hit a park car, flew threw a hydro pole onto a parked car in a dealership, wasn’t in waterloo it was in Kitchener, wasn’t on house arrest for drunk driving, just weapons.